Saudade
1.21.21
Missing a feeling that I’ve never felt.
Missing a warmth that has never burned my skin.
Looking for a sign that will say everything that is resting on my tongue.
I’ve been looking for you, for me, for her.
I’ve been looking for it all.
Looking for the one that lurks behind me in the shadows but towers over me in the eyes of others.
My strength is blind.
Desires unknown.
I have only one secret.
She stares at me through a familiar lens.
A continuous call forms, first dull, then it increases in volume with each layer I uncover within myself.
Though I have never met her. She knows me.
She is familiar. She is warm. She is everything I’ve ever needed but never knew I had.
I am excited and nervous but determined and hopeful.
She is not my demon. I am just the skin she wore.
-Anne Desormeaux






